Saturday, February 16, 2008

Spiritual Disappointments

I got up this morning with a dark cloud over my spirit. It has been hard for me to understand why some days are so full of God's grace, mercy, and goodness to me and I can see Him so clearly; and then some days He seems so distant and far away and my heart aches with discouragement and disappointment. What makes the difference?

In analyzing my moods this very morning, I realized the anticipation of expectations from my prayers to God have not come. Not only have answers to my prayers not been answered, the very thing I prayed for suddenly seems so unattainable and I feel sad about it. When I place such high expectations of God working on my behalf and the answers to my prayers seem so far away, or even worse, seem impossible, my spirit falls so low. Does that mean God has failed me? Does it mean my faith has failed me? No, it means my feelings have failed me. The selfishness of wanting my own desires and my being not willing to wait upon God for His timing is the problem. In my human nature, I can't understand why God would delay in answering something that means so very much to me. What brazen boldness on my part! God is not a vending machine to fill my every desire!

When we feel God is too slow in answering our prayers, we are demanding God change His perfections to accommodate our whims. God is never too slow. We need to go slow with God and wait for Him.

I just read this prayer written by Grace Noll Crowell:

Dear Child, God does not say today, "Be strong." He knows your strength is spent, He knows how long the road has been, how weary you have grown; for He who walked the earthly roads alone, each bogging lowland, and each rugged hill, can understand, and so He says, "Be still, and know that I am God." The hour is late, and you must rest awhile, and you must wait until life's empty reservoirs fill up as slow rain fills an empty upturned cup. Hold up your cup, dear child, for God to fill. He only asks today that you be still."

So as I wait patiently for God to work on my behalf and answer the prayers of my heart that means so much to me, I pray I can be still and wait for His will, His timing, His perfect plan to be worked out on behalf of those whom are the subjects of my prayers.

Trust and obey, for there's no other way for God to lift my spirits!


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