All my life I have been a people pleaser. At all costs to myself, the end result of any circumstance for me was to make sure I did not make waves, ruffle feathers or do anything that would cause people to dislike me. Sometimes that meant agreeing with them on an issue that I didn't really agree with which caused me to later feel guilt and shame that I didn't stand up for what I truly felt. When I became a Christian, I then had to become a God-pleaser. That means sometimes putting aside your own selfish desires of needing to be liked in order to do what you know in your heart is right before God. Confrontation is extremely hard for me, but at times it is so very necessary.
When you are genuinely committed to following Christ, there are qualities that you possess that should stand out to a non-Christian and will naturally rub them the wrong way. You are often accused of having a superior attitude---feeling more elevated in stature than others. You are often called a "miss goody-too shoes"---someone who thinks they are better than anyone else. Even your calm demeanor during a disaster can cause others to think you don't care enough or are not sensitive enough to the feelings and emotions of others. We receive all kinds of accusations from a non-believer who just doesn't "get it."
As a Christian who has matured in the knowledge of who we are in Christ, there IS a difference. We are growing in the knowledge of who Christ is in us and are developing the mind of Christ in our thinking and in our behavior. Non-Christians see Christ in us and are often confronted by Christ in our manner of speaking and relating to them and often become rigid and unbending in their response to Him. If we as Christians recognize their confrontational spirits as rebelling against Christ instead of us personally, it somehow eases the pain and we can deal with the situation before us more easily. It is important for us to remember that we must exhibit Christlikeness to others and proclaim the truth of God's Word rather than seek the approval of man. Christ Himself was scorned, ridiculed, and spat upon because of the truth He spoke. Should we do anything less?
"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Col. 4:6